I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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