ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
