btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
it glows. i had to have it.
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All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
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I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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