Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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