A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
