HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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