She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
