apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Randomize
