Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
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