He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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