I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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