Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
