the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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