he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
