you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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