dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
