Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
there is glitter all over my balls
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