So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
