Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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