I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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