He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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