she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
porn star boner night. come get it.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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