Sry I called you an 8
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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