nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
