is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
