I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
