So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
