i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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