If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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