OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
