love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
