Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
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I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
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I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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