I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
