dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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