Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My life is pants optional.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize