actually, I'm a sock model
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
