How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
