just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
