Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize