I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize