The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
