dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
