dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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