Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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