Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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