Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
