Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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