i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
