Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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