I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
