she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
