I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
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I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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