your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I smell stomach acid.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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