They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
