I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
