He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Drunk walkin through police station. America
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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