I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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