We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
