OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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