there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
