The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
