Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize