i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I am one with the molecules
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
we should paint friendship bongs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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