Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
