I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize