11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize