i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
there is glitter all over my balls
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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