ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
