Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My dick has a subreddit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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